| attention all badasses |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008|09:45 am] |
You can't be a badass if...
- You are not licensed to operate a motor vehicle. Automobile will usually defeat Human in a collision.
- You do not own a tool set. Every badass has at minimum two screwdrivers and a hammer at his/her disposal.
- You do not know the rules of American Football.
- You do not have any scars that you proudly show off or stories sports injuries that you don't hesitate to recount
- You can't dance. All badasses can dance.
- You can quote more than two lines from "The Princess Diaries".
- You are a man and refuse to:
- hold your significant other's purse while shopping
- buy feminine hygiene products
- engage in 'manscaping'
- admit you liked "Love Actually"
because you are afraid it wouldn't be masculine. A badass' masculinity is never threatened!
- The only reason you wouldn't get a tattoo is because it might hurt. Also, you can't be a badass if the only reason you would get a tattoo is because all your friends were getting "cute" tattoos.
- You've never gotten/given it doggy-style.
- Your favorite alcoholic beverage is more than 50% fruit juice.
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| to the King of Pop |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|08:14 am] |
| [ | music |
| | "Birthday" by The Beatles | ] |
Dear Michael Jackson,
You say it's your birthday. It's my birthday too. They say it's your birthday. We're gonna have a good time. I'm glad it's your birthday. Happy birthday to you. |
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| kickstart |
[Aug. 26th, 2008|03:32 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "If You See Jordan" by Something Corporate | ] |
I’ve been inspired to write. About what I don’t exactly know. I’ve seen people on Facebook and Livejournal pup questionnaires up, so I thought I’d do it just to kickstart the habit of writing in this damn thing again. So here it goes:
10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Me
- I love tuna fish sandwiches. When I was a kid my mom used to work at an old folks home. My parents and I would ride in our Nissan Sentra in the morning so my dad could take my mom to work and drop me off at school. He’d pick me up in the afternoons on the way to pick her up. Sometimes my mom would have a tuna fish sandwich for me that one of the cooks prepared. I don’t think I’ve ever had a tuna fish sandwich I didn’t like.
- I can’t take a dump at home unless I’m reading something. Anything. It can be my wife’s Cosmo or a user’s manual for the remote. You can bet any kind of reading material at my house has made it to the bathroom with me.
- My favorite soda (or pop) is 7UP. I like how it’s clear. And I like how the bottle is green. Also because I had a ‘connect-4’ type game for the Nintendo based on the 7UP ‘Dot’ mascot.
- When I was five I was blamed for killing a dog. That’s all I have to say about that.
- My mom used to bring home office equipment that was marked for trash or recycling. My first computer was her workstation. My first desk was one she found in a trash pile. In elementary school I had a cork bulletin board in my room from her office. The first legitimate computer (without a pirated operating system or ‘borrowed’ components) that I ever bought was Monika’s laptop.
- I have never slept in my own room. I slept in my parents’ room until I was 10. For real. Then I shared a room with my brother (bunk beds!) Then I lived with Monika.
- I’m INCREDIBLY clumsy.
- My piano teacher insisted that go to college for music. I instead chose to major in engineering because I didn’t want to be a poor, struggling musician. I still love playing music, but it makes me sad that I’ll never be as good and as dedicated as I used to be. I sometimes regret it.
- I’m still afraid of the dark.
- My initial thought when I meet most people is, “I wonder if they’re any good in bed.” Not because I’d like to sleep with them, but because I’ve watched a lot of porn.
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| tennis anyone? |
[Apr. 15th, 2008|11:12 am] |
It has been a seriously long time since I've posted. Sorry peoples, but if I've got any free time to sit in front of the computer I'm devoting it to either pornography or piracy. Perhaps I should not have said that. Anyways, I'm taking this much deserved and very much infrequent break from work (they think I'm programming the intranet database to integrate with our newly acquired French manufacturing company) to give you beautiful people an update. Read on to your heart's content!
Squeezy, or "Isabella" as some of you may know her, is now 1 year old. There's a video of her birthday on my last post. In it she's doing the Polish tradition of deciding her future by selecting a shot glass, rosary, money, or a pen. Those who have seen the video know that my baby gonna be RICH! She's mastered crawling and is moving on to the more coordination-intensive walking. She can stand by herself if I put something in her hands to distract her and let go. But, being the perceptive girl that she is, quickly realizes that there is nothing supporting her and plops down on her diaper-padded bottom. Although she can't walk on her own yet, she does however like to "cruise" the apartment by walking alongside whatever furniture she can use for support. She prefers pushing her walker around rather than being in it. Oh, and my girl loves to DANCE! :
Speaking of dancing... Thanks to the Rex (a.k.a. "The Rex Machine", "T-Rex", "Josiah Rosenbaum", "The Vaseline Man") I've gotten back into breakdancing. I'm not the same bboy I was back in high school, and I've made my peace with the fact that I'll never be again, but it is still a ton of fun to bust your shit for 3 hours on the hardwood. Having done P90X has made breaking a lot more fun too. I can do stuff that I couldn't do back in high school simply because I'm much stronger than I used to be. Maybe I'll post a video or two if I do anything cool. But for now, I'm still sanding off the rust from 6 years of sedentery existence.
I'm starting up another round of P90X. I got sick again and became inactive for a long time so my strength and fitness gains have deteriorated. I did the chest and back routine for the first time in over a month on Sunday. It was very disappointing to look at the worksheet and see that you're doing 10-15 less reps than you were doing 3 months ago. Towards the end of my first round I could recover from a workout in a day, now it's back to a full week of soreness. But come summertime, I'mma be rolling in my six five four three-pack abs and Sex Cannons all the way to the beach.
Work has been crazy these past couple of months. It seems the corporate suits want more billion-dollar years out of us, so they're pushing us to design products to expand to previously untargeted markets. The thing about that is it means we're going to have to design things that we previously thought to be ridiculous. Also, we just promoted someone from the test lab to the design group, so it looks like I'm going to have some direct competition in terms of productivity. That's good for me. I enjoy competition. I do better when I know I've got something on the line. Since I started last year I've been at the bottom of the pyramid in the design group. Maybe now with a new guy learning the ropes my boss will see how productive I really am. It's quite fortunate that all of this is happening during performance evaluations.
Momo is doing fantastic. She's doing extremely well at school, and how she manages to juggle the demands of her professors is beyond me. I would have waved my underwear on a stick as a gesture of surrender a long time ago. Maybe one of these days I can convince her to let me post a picture of her post-workout. It's amazing how this woman has transformed her body post-pregnancy. I'm thinking of sending a couple of her pictures in to Million Dollar Body. If anyone deserves cash for working hard it's this woman.
So that's all I have for now. Hopefully it won't be another eon until my next substantial post. Until then I wish you all a merry springtime!
Bitch, a Citroen ain't nothing but a Fiat with a sunroof. Zut alors! |
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| politics, weather, entertainment and food |
[Jan. 7th, 2008|12:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "If This Is It" by Huey Lewis and the News | ] |
So here's what I found on Facebook today during lunch:
I'm not surprised that Barack Obama had that many Facebook followers, but I was blown away at how many people on the site are supporting Ron Paul. Big ups to Rondo!
Yesterday it was 55 degrees. Today it's expected to be 60 degrees and rainy. And it smells like a third world country outside. Global warming, anyone?
I've signed up with Netflix. It's tits. There's roughly a 2 day turn-around (if it's not sent on a weekend) between sending in a viewed movie and receving a new one in your queue. I don't know why I haven't signed up with Netflix before. Shame on me for not knowing, and shame on all of you for not informing me. I'll take your apologies in the form of money.
Today Monika's going to bake me a pie. I will eat it all and not give you any. |
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| You'll shoot your eye out |
[Dec. 3rd, 2007|12:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dell 'on-hold' music | ] |
I just finished my 2nd month of P90X and I'm on my recovery week. I'm REALLY starting to notice the changes now, not just in physical appearance but in strength and energy during the day. I think when I'm done with this program I might start a serious weightlifting program or maybe try one of those insane workouts from Men's Health.
It's almost Christmas! Monika and I stayed up last night putting up our tree that we bought on Black Friday. She insisted that we turn on Christmas music, eat gingerbreak cookies, and drink hot cocoa. I eagerly complied. We're not used to having a tree that big so we kind of underestimated the amount of ornaments we'd need. Still, the tree looks really nice and we'll probably be out getting some more ornaments later on- that is if the cat's don't detroy everything first.
Isabella update: she's crawling! And not just the Army-crawl that she was doing in the videos I posted a couple weeks ago. This is a full-on hands-and-knees type crawl with speed. And not just that, she's started pulling herself up to standing in her crib. I usually find her in the mornings on her feet holding on to her crib. And with her newfound mobility, she's learned which objects in the house are good for climbing. If I put her on the floor she immediately starts crawling towards the coffee table or the chair by the computer so she can pull herself up and stand. Luckily, no major head trauma yet. I've been keeping a watchful eye on her noggin. More as this develops...
Who wants holiday cards? Tag me and we'll do our best to get one to you! |
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| "Our diesel generator is keeping all servers running. Until the gas runs out." |
[Nov. 30th, 2007|11:23 am] |
| [ | music |
| | "This Love" by Maroon 5 | ] |
There was a power outage at work yesterday. Sometime around 3:30pm all of the lights went off and computers shut down. A few of my co-workers looked outside and saw that none of the office buildings around us had power. We found out later that the entire business park was lights out. We looked across the street and saw that the Walgreens was out of power, as well as the plaza with my lunchtime regular Subway and more importantly Isabella's day care. No one answered when I called the day care, but I couldn't leave since our director didn't give us the go-ahead. Finally, after 30 minutes of sitting around in the dark and staring out the window at the firetrucks and ambulances making their way into the business park, our director announced on the PA that we will be out of power indefinitely. We all left a little before 4:00, and Isabella and I got home just a little after 5:00.
Seeing all of the cars lined up to get out of the business park got me thinking: how many of you work in a business park? More interestingly, how many of you work in mine? How many of you work out in the near Northwest suburbs? I work in Mount Prospect, just outside of Des Plaines. It's the 4-story NTN building on the corner of Wolf and Kensington in the Kensington Business Park. It shares a parking lot with the MetLife building. Do any of you guys work/live/play nearby? Hell, where do all of you work? Just wondering. |
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| Answers! |
[Nov. 16th, 2007|10:34 am] |
What's the chorus to the song that plays during the All Valley Karate Tournament montage in "The Karate Kid"?
You're the best AROUND!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down!
What are the call signs of all of Maverick's navigators in Top Gun? (hint: there are 3)
His first navigator was Goose. After Goose's death, there's a brief scene in which he flew a training excercise with Hollywood. The finale of the movie has him fighting the MiGs with Merlin (waiting on Alert 5). If you remember, Merlin was Cougar's navigator from the opening scene of the movie.
In the movie "Scrooged", what does Frank give Claire for Christmas when they live together?
Frank gives Claire a set of Ginsu knives. Claire gives Frank the Kama Sutra.
In the movie "The Wizard", what game is Jimmy playing at the bus station?
He is playing Double Dragons on a Playchoice 10.
(GIVEAWAY!) What song makes the toaster dance in Ghostbusters 2?
"Higher and Higher" by Jackie Wilson.
In the movie "Spaceballs", what are the names of the twins in President Skroob's bed?
Their names were Charlene and Marlene. Some of you put Darlene. Incorrect!
Who is the announcer for the USA vs. Korea match in "Best of the Best"?
EXTRA POINT: What is the technique used by the Korean fighter to break the concrete slabs?
The announcer is Ahmad Rashad. The Korean fighter uses the 'ridgehand' technique.
Other than the Jets or the Sharks, name at least one other gang mentioned in "West Side Story".
I can recall at least one other gang mentioned.
Ice: "Man, remember them fists the day we clobbered the Emeralds?"
What is the name of the restaurant where Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane eat lunch in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"?
Chez Quis.
What's the name of the security guard's dog in the movie "Mannequin"?
Rambo.
What's the title of the first song in the movie "Aladdin"?
"Arabian Nights". The first song sung by a main character is Aladdin's "One Jump Ahead".
The winner is Jeff "Suge Knight" Sugar with 4 correct answers. He will receive one solid steel ball bearing which he can use for either good or evil, whichever he desires. |
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| It's quiz time! |
[Nov. 9th, 2007|04:27 pm] |
I like putting up quizzes. It let's you guys know a little more about me and vice versa. The replies will be screened. There is a prize. It is a 1 1/2" diameter steel ball. No joke. I'm overrun with them. So here's the quiz, and NO CHEATING!:
- What's the chorus to the song that plays during the All Valley Karate Tournament montage in "The Karate Kid"?
- What are the call signs of all of Maverick's navigators in Top Gun? (hint: there are 3)
- In the movie "Scrooged", what does Frank give Claire for Christmas when they live together?
- In the movie "The Wizard", what game is Jimmy playing at the bus station?
- (GIVEAWAY!) What song makes the toaster dance in Ghostbusters 2?
- In the movie "Spaceballs", what are the names of the twins in President Skroob's bed?
- Who is the announcer for the USA vs. Korea match in "Best of the Best"?
EXTRA POINT: What is the technique used by the Korean fighter to break the concrete slabs?
- Other than the Jets or the Sharks, name at least one other gang mentioned in "West Side Story".
- What is the name of the restaurant where Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane eat lunch in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"?
- What's the name of the security guard's dog in the movie "Mannequin"?
- What's the title of the first song in the movie "Aladdin"?
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| ...and it don't get better than this! |
[Oct. 22nd, 2007|11:08 pm] |
Has anyone seen that XBox360 commercial where there's a choir of children singing "Nothing But A Good Time" by Poison in the background? Man, that's a sweet song!
Just imagine this with children's voices:
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2007|10:33 pm] |
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P90X sucks. I hate everything. |
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| hi |
[Oct. 14th, 2007|05:53 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" by The Black Crowes | ] |
Hi everyone! I know it's been forever, but I figure now's just as good a time as any to post. This one might get long, so I'll place it behind a cut.
( Read on. ) |
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